Here lately I have been thinking a lot about life. Although we aren't even close to the 9th of December I am feeling grateful for the life that I have been given as it very easily could have been taken on that day. I don't really remember to much about it as I was 7 when it happened but I was hit by a car. I was air evacuated to St Joes, where I spent something like 5 weeks, with lots of therapy once I was able to go home. One of the most amazing parts is that from the outside, just looking at me, you would never guess. I have no idea what my family had to endure and go through, but I do know that I don't want to find out.

This weekend is going to be a really great one!! We are getting new phones today once Clint gets home from work. Then we are taking the kids into see their uncle, that they haven't seen in quite sometime. Come tomorrow and Sunday are the days that I am most looking forward to. In our community they are doing a little parade that the Primary kids are able to ride their bikes in. So we are going to decorate Cadence's bike so that she is able to participate in that and give her something to do that she has never had the opportunity to be a part of before. Then Sunday brings church and we always look forward to that day!:)

Monday I too am hoping is a really good day. My grandma is coming over to spend sometime with me and the girls. I am going to talk to her in advance and see if and when would be a good time to teach me how to can. We are working on putting together a food supply and if I knew how to can my own stuff then I want to learn how to do that.

Shortly after we started going to this ward that we are in now I was able to get a copy of the Relief Society cookbook. I LOVE that book!! By the end of next week I will have made 30 things out of that book. Every time that I go to make out a grocery list, that's the book that I use. There is so many yummy recipes in that book.

As of the 5th I have been drinking this drink that my grandma is selling called Spark!! I started on the 5th drinking just one bottle, instead of two since that's kind of the direction that my grandma was telling me that she does. Well, one at first didn't really have to much of an impact on me. So the next day I had two bottles. Well, now I am really seeing where this stuff is AMAZING! I am still eating, but nothing like I was!!! I love this stuff!!

Today is the day that my sister is coming to get my Cadence. She is going to take her for me for a night or two. I am so thankful for this. As soon as we get breakfast over with, I am planning on making cookies and sending them with Cadence, because having been around Cadence I know that at times she can be a handful and just kind of my way of saying thank you. It definitely helps that she has cousins over there to play with!:)

Thursday is going to be a really busy day for us. We are upgrading our phones. Ours right now seem to not be working as well as they use to, once upon a time. There is also a Relief Society Meeting that night that I am going to, that Clint had volunteered for the nursery and help watch kids. We were also supposed to have Brother Dean over for another New Member Discussion, but I think that Clint is going to call to reschedule. We are also going to do grocery shopping that night, which will be good to get that over with.

Right now I am looking into getting another family picture done. I am just trying to find the best deal. The last one that we had done, was around this time last year as it was the day that we got Chazlyn's one year pictures done. Here we are just about a year later with her birthday being in a week and one day from now!

Here lately I am really beginning to look forward to the weekends even more so than I did already. I try my hardest to do my Pilate's at least 3 times, Sunday-Thursday and then hit my tough workout once or twice Friday- Saturday. As long as I can lose 15-20 lbs. I will be doing great. y plan as far as weighing in is that I am going to pick one day out of the week and do a weigh in then. I got that off of my friends Blog (www.thedailyflab.blogspot.com), only I am not going to announce my weight until I can get it to where I want it! But I will agree that Sunday is a good day for a weigh in!

Wow! I can't believe that Chazlyn's birthday party is in TEN DAYS!!! I still have to get these invitations made up. may be we will get that done tonight once Clint gets home from work. We really need to get those mailed off!!! Yikes!! Good thing I am kind of giving a heads up notice by having sent out invitations via facebook!

After re-reading my blog from yesterday, I did the math, which was rather simple seeing how long I knew Granny for. I figured since she passed away 1 month and 1 week before my 26th birthday that I knew her 25 years, 11 months, and 3 weeks.

I don't mean to be down on myself, but I had a F.H.E. planned last night, but I just really didn't have the goodness about me to follow through with it. I was a little on the angry side and knew that if I couldn't be happy, the it would have been pointless for me to have gone ahead and did the lesson. Especially when I planned to give the lesson on reverence. Not really such a good example. I am thinking about briefing Cadence on it before she leaves me later today, just so I can say that I did do something. Instead of F.H.E. I wound up bringing Cadence over to the park. I had to treat her in some way for not being a horrible child. Besides that we don't really bring our kids to the park, so it was nice for her.

The face that's been weighing heavily on my mind is...

Here we are a little less than 2 weeks away from marking a 1 year anniversary for my entire family. This is no anniversary that I am to much looking forward to. It's nothing like a wedding anniversary, it's an anniversary that marks the passing of one of my closest, most best friends... I feel blessed to have had this AMAZING woman in my life for a month and a week shy of 26 years. She had the light of Christ in her that she brought with her every where that she went, and touched so many lives. I also feel blessed to have been her name sake. And what a blessing it has been to have taken her name and given it to my first born, but not only that, but to have had her there for the ultrasound when we found out that we were having a a girl and announcing then that we were naming her Cadence ELEANOR! That's a name that I carry, and I carry it with pride. I have been so nervous about seeing the 20th of March. I can't help but reflect back on that day, and what I was doing the day that I got the phone call that my great grandma had passed away. I was celebrating with my husbands side of the family, my daughters 1st birthday. I know on that day that I felt relief. I know that the stroke had no more control over her, and that she was perfect. I somehow managed to get through that day, being happy for my kids, and for the company that that day brought. I was fine for what was maybe a day or 2, and then there I sat. I knew I was going that Sunday before she passed to visit her, since I had sick kids and had been unable to. But Saturday came, and took her before I had the chance to see her one last time. This was a woman that I called everyday. My day was just not complete without hearing from her. So a day or 2 passes and I haven't been able to see or talk to her. Reality sets in. And I cry, and I cry, and I cry! I sit here and think, will the 20th of March be anything like thinking about her on her birthday? Or will this day be even harder? I often think that after a year, I should be healed and be over this, especially having the religious beliefs that I have, I should be okay. But here I sit in front of this computer, my hands trembling, and my voice a little shaky. Could it be just the Spark that I am sitting here drinking, or is it my own insecurity. I have dreaded every holiday and every get together that I have had with my family, just because I knew that Granny wasn't going to be there, yet somehow I managed to get through it. So, will I survive the March 20th?? Without a doubt! I will go to church that day, knowing that I am doing exactly what she would have wanted me to do, and if she were still here, she would have expected me to do.

I know that the picture is blurry and the same as the one at the top, but this is from the funeral, and this is the woman that I miss everyday of my life!

What an awesome day today has been for our little family! Our little Chazlyn was blessed during Sacrament Meeting today!!! I am so proud of how far my family has come. Afterall, I did marry a nonmember. That right there has turned out to be nothing short of a blessing in itself. He now is a convert and a Priesthood holder, and this family of ours is just thriving the way that I have wanted it to all along! Not only that, but the fact that we have both of our kids blessed! That is something that was so hard for me, since I had to go about having Cadence blessed on my own. I am so grateful for the Ward Family that we have and for all the support that we feel that we get in return. It is such an amazing thing to be a part of.

Tomorrow is yet another day that I am really looking forward to! My dad is picking up my husband so that I can go over and hang out over at my parents with everyone!! I am bringing my doggies too!

Yesterday turned out to be a really good day for me! That is quite surprising as I never have very many "good" Fridays. Usually Clint works a half day and it just never makes for a very good day, but nonetheless, yesterday was really good, busy, but good!!

I had the girls until 1pm, or until Clint got home anyway. I have a set routine with my kids now, which seems to be working out pretty good so far. Whichever child wakes up first gets to watch TV until the other one wakes up. Once they are both up, they have the TV until they have both eaten their breakfast. After breakfast, since they both get kind of messy after each meal, they go take a bath and the TV is off at this point. After baths, they get their ears cleaned, their teeth brushed, hair brushed, and lathered up in a moisturizing lotion, since their eczema is starting to act up again. After they are both dressed they go off to play. At this point the TV is STILL OFF!!

Anyway, back to my really good Friday...

Clint gets home, we are all ready. We went to the Mall from there. This is where we got my dads birthday present (which he really liked, which is great!!!). After that we met up with everyone at Tia Rosa's for lunch! From there it was off to G&G Pines for cake and ice cream. This is where we got Spark!! I am really looking forward to trying this stuff!! From there we went to Clint's side of the families since the majority of them are leaving today and moving to Nevada!!:( It was really nice being able to hang out with everyone, one last time!! They had already gotten Chazlyn her birthday present, since they aren't going to be here for it. At this point we are kind of thinking about combining the parties, since a lot of people won't be here on his side, but I still don't think that that is something that I want to do. We also found out that of the 10th of this month we are getting better phones!! So we are really looking forward to that!!

Today is going to be a really good day as well. I am really hoping that we can make it to Lehi Days!! I think that we would all have a lot of fun, and it has been forever since I have been there!! I also have bunco tonight. I always look forward to getting away without kids for a few hours. I think that that is going to be fun!!

Tomorrow is going to be awesome as well!!! We are FINALLY having Chazlyn blessed. My grandpa is going to perform the blessing, which will be really neat!! I am hoping that after Clint talks to the Bishop later today that he is able to stand in the circle, now that he holds the Aaronic Priesthood.